lazy sunday (and thoughts on monday)

I should call this post 'Lazy Sunday...for some that live in this house' since it was only Stuy and I that lazed about! He was feeling worn-out from a busy few weeks of work and I was just feeling...uuuumm...lazy!

We woke up to heavy rain which did then turn into a sunny morning but with a very chilly wind and our first snow for the year!! I'm not a fan of the cold weather but it was exciting none the less, with blue, blue sky and a dusting of white! We left the young ones with a very large pile of firewood to move and stack (did I mention that only some of us were feeling lazy?) and headed up to our sons property where Stuy works during the week. It's beautiful and isolated - which is important to mention since we are abiding by the new rules - and we sat in the sun sheltered from the wind by the wide verandahs.

I think that somehow the worn out feelings stem from all this upheaval thats happening right now. Its quite debilitating always thinking of where we can go, who we can't see, what we must do and so on. And then theres the grief that I'm sure we are all experiencing. I have days of feeling like this too shall pass and everything is fine with me and mine. And then there are the days where it all hits me broadside and I feel small and lost and sad.

Small because I'm realising how tiny I am; how insignificant in the wellbeing of this whole amazing world, my life actually is; how minute my day to day existence is when I hear how humanity is cowering, brought to it's knees by a microscopic organism.

Lost because I've been momentarily derailed; dreams and wishes have been put on hold; outings are non existent; friendships are now by email or messages minus hugs and kisses.

And sad. So sad. This crisis will without a doubt change our lives. It will change the way we go about our daily business. It will change all our everyday doings. I'm a bit of a lover of past ways and slower times and old fashioned life, so the probable changes seem a bit much really.

Today is Monday and I'm feeling all these feels.

However. Most days I can also see the positive aspect of this muddle. I know I'm important and a vital part of the macrocosm. I know I'm loved and needed by my nearest and dearest. I understand that everything is exactly as its meant to be. I can see that there will be amazing new beginnings as well as a yearning for slower living. That a lot of people will question why they've been rushing and looking to material things for gratification. All these things I'm aware of.

But some days are for grieving.

And some are for lazing.

And it's all ok.

xx Evi xx